I have a huge problem.
You are one.
No I'm a dude like an actual dude.
What?
I have a penis and pee'd all over myself.
It's not that difficult. You just hold it in your hand, aim, and release. It's more difficult and painful to hold it in once you start. Of course, if you were uncircumcised, you need to hold the head a specific way.
How can you tell that?
...Have you never seen penises?
Never looked at one until now.
How are you not a virgin? Smooth head means circumcised. Round head with rougher skin at the head is not. Google.
I don't randomly look up penises! His name is Floyd.
Or the ones that get inserted in you, apparently. Which tends to be something one does. I don't care. I don't know a Floyd. The best I can do is run tests.
I can't break in. Are you all right though?
Break in what? I'm fine.
My place. Good.
Would someone be there? Do you need to come here?
How tall are you?
I'm not touching your dick.
He has grunge clothes!
If you can't handle urinating, why would I give you my clothes?
You dress nice.
If you even think about playing sprinkler in here.
Ewwwwww no! No. No.
I mean it.
I would never, just no.
Hurry up. I'm no waiting all night.
Okay, I'm coming.
Don't put it like that. I don't need to know about you touching him.
Not like that!!!!
Says the virgin.
I'm just a virgin in some areas and I don't plan on starting to break now.
Right.
Just I need to wear clean clothes and no guns.
Because you'll shoot yourself?
No he has an arsenal
You woke up to an arsenal? That you couldn't leave behind?
No I woke up next a blonde woman.
Explains virginity.